


watching him

by Lilian



Series: Rajan and Kala and Wolfgang, together [1]
Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Getting to Know Each Other, Multi, OT3, Polyamory, kala dandekar has two hands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2019-06-18 03:59:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15477210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilian/pseuds/Lilian
Summary: Felix asks Wolfgang about "the Rajan-thing".What Rajan-thing?Rajan x Kala x Wolfgang story.





	watching him

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hippocrates460](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hippocrates460/gifts).



> This thing could not have been made without the constant stream of attention and love I get from hippocrates460. Thanks to her brilliant ideas, there will be another one of Rajalagang fics, arriving Santa knows when. In the meantime, enjoy.

 

“You know I love you,” Felix starts, as they’re walking down the street in Napoli, “But let me just ask you this: the Rajan thing, is that a Kala, or… Lito?, right? -thing, or is that… you?”

Wolfgang squints at him in the sunlight. They are walking to the closest shop for groceries, and because Felix’s wound is still healing, Wolfgang will probably have to carry everything back. But it’s nice to be alone with his oldest friend. Even if he’s not making much sense.

“Huh?” Wolfgang asks for clarification. He does have a slight idea where this is heading, but…

“Oh, man, you know what I mean!” Felix flaps around with his arms. “Remember, I was there when you were completely gone over Lottie Wagner.”

Wolfgang lights a cigarette and offers another for Felix who waves his hand away.

“What does she have to do with anything?” That was back in eighth grade. She had the sunniest smile. Nothing compared to Kala’s, but…

“You got the exact same look, man.” Felix shakes his head ruefully as if being in love was the greatest offense a man could commit against humanity.

“What?”

“When you’re with India Plan, it’s like nothing else exists. Same as with Lottie.” Felix kicks a small stone, and it rolls away noisily. He’s suddenly talking slower, a bit more deliberate. “That’s not the interesting bit, as I said, you were always like that with women. But when she’s not there, you…”

Wolfgang takes a last, long drag. Felix looks earnest, and a little worried.

“I’m what.”

“You look at her husband.”

_Rajan?_ Wolfgang punches him in the shoulder lightly.

“Stop taking the piss.”

Felix shakes his head.

“I wish I was. But I guess that’s my answer, right? When you don’t take your eyes off him, that’s really just Kala. Or Lito. Or both of them. Man, this sensate thing is wild.”

And Wolfgang thinks, _No, that’s not it at all. what the hell._

*  
They did talk about it, actually. When the doctor ordered them both home after Kala was stabilized, safe and asleep and in no need of them sitting next to her and holding her hands. They walked back to the house because even though Rajan tried hailing a cab, it didn’t want to take them on, with blood-soiled clothing and their rugged, pinched expressions.

Wolfgang remembered belatedly that he kissed Kala in his relief in plain view of her husband, and wondered, mutely, why Rajan hasn’t said a word about it.

But then, as if following his thoughts, he did bring it up. They were not far from their accommodations when he murmured:

“I can hardly fault you for falling in love with her. That would be extremely hypocritical of me.”

Out of every possibility, Wolfgang didn’t quite expect that.

“Can I ask a few questions, though?”

Wolfgang thought he deserved that. And a fucking medal for how he behaved so far. If it had been Wolfgang in his shoes, he would have already punched the other guy. Multiple times.

“You’ve never met before, I mean, not physically. Just in your heads.”

Although it wasn’t a question, Wolfgang nodded.

“Yes.”

“But you’ve seen much of our lives, even before we married.”

Again, Wolfgang signed affirmative. His stomach was steadily tightening, ever since Rajan started talking. His body was getting ready with its usual fight or flight response, but Wolfgang hadn’t fled from situations, since… A long time. But he couldn’t hurt Rajan. Rajan was Kala’s.

“So you were there at our wedding, and in Positano, and later when we settled into our new home in Bombay...” Rajan swallowed, and Wolfgang couldn’t help but focus on his Adam's apple, as it moved down, then up again. “I suppose you were there at times when we had fights, or when we were… intimate, too.”

There was a quiet when Wolfgang thought of things that could soften the blow. He’d never tried to do that before, though, and it’s seemed a much more important moment than to ask Nomi or Riley for help. Nor Lito. This needed to be the truth.

“Yes.”

Rajan exhaled loudly, suddenly. They’d stopped on the pavement, and one of the street-lamps illuminated half of his face. Contemplative.

“Well, it seems to me then that the only one out of the loop is me. Tell me about yourself.”

Wolfgang blinked, startled. His hands unclenched from the unconscious fist they’ve curled into. He caught Rajan’s bemused half-smile at his bafflement.

“Okay,” He answered, surprising himself a bit too,” but we get beer.”

*  
The pub is not too loud, and they manage to find a quieter box. Wolfgang had never talked about himself before, and certainly not at length. He never needed to share his story before, because anyone who mattered was either in his cluster or always there physically (like his mother, for a while. And then Felix.)

After moving onto his second beer, that’s where he is beginning. With Felix, and their friendship. Capheus bumps him in the ribs when he’s stuck, grins at him until he starts again, reminding him of the feeling of simple brotherhood, then he blinks out of existence. After that, there’s Nomi, when he can’t find the right words. Sun, nodding at him from across the table when he starts speaking about his father. Riley squeezing his hand when his eyes become misty. Lito leaning into him, and the weight of Will’s hand never really leaving his shoulder.

And after what feels like hours, and two more beers, so many stuttered half-sentences, and things he never uttered to a living soul before, he looks up, and there Rajan sits.

He seems like he wants to cry, but his shoulders are relaxed. He’s looking at Wolfgang too, searching for words. He opens his mouth a few times but doesn’t actually utter anything.

Which is lovely, because Wolfgang is too raw, too open, too vulnerable to deal with anything else but silence right now.

Then Rajan raises his hand, and with considerate, slow movements reaches over to stroke his face gently. Wolfgang closes his eyes and wishes they didn’t have the table between them, so he could lean his forehead against his, and envelop him completely within himself. Or let himself be held tightly against him, buried deep into his arms, shut off from the outside world.

The moment passes then, and they go home.

  
But from that minute, or perhaps the next one, out on the street, when Wolfgang says he needs to urinate and starts looking for a darker corner, and Rajan honest to god giggles next to him, they are friends. They fall into bed, tipsy, carefree, and wake up in the morning next to each other with only Kala on their minds. Dear, wonderful Kala, who is in hospital, eyeing them both with caution when she first awakes but smiling brighter than ever when she hears them teasing each other good-naturedly.

*  
When Kala is okay enough to leave the hospital, she moves in the bedroom Rajan uses and spends her nights sleeping at his husband’s side. But the mornings and afternoons are Wolfgang’s. Rajan has to work during the day, and they go shopping, and they hold hands in the streets, kiss in alcoves and make love in Wolfgang’s room.

In the evenings, they usually dine together with whoever’s left of the cluster and their extended families. Will and Riley are still there, and Nomi and Amanita, planning their wedding.   
  
Wolfgang’s favorite times are the mornings, when Kala comes out of their room, dragging a sleepy Rajan after him. She always runs over to give Wolfgang a good morning kiss, and Rajan is always there afterward to pat his arm or lay a gentle hand on his back. Then the three of them settle down to eat and joke around, talk through their plans for the day.

There is no jealousy in him anymore, when he sees Rajan touching her, or when Kala reciprocates. They are affectionate with each other, more so than ever, and still, it’s easy, because Rajan doesn’t tense up either when he sees them kiss or touch. A few days earlier, Rajan accidentally stepped in on them when they were resting together, naked, post-orgasm, and he just apologized, and requested they look for him when more convenient.

Wolfgang expected things to be hard, and difficult with hurt of a physical and metaphysical kind, but instead, it’s just… fine. Kala is happier than he’s ever seen her, lose and more playful and spontaneous.

Ever since his conversation with Felix, who shacked up with an Italian girl and was exploring the local party-scene pretty hard since then, Wolfgang has been trying to pay more attention to himself. (Which earned a thumbs-up from Capheus, an approving grin from Riley, a wistful sigh from Will, a lot of self-help book titles from Nomi, and a quiet snort from Sun - Lito was on blockers some of the time, because he really wanted to concentrate on shooting his new movie, an absence they all felt acutely, so he missed this development.)

What he found was that he indeed did watch Rajan. But how could he not? The man was good, pure, and kind, sort of how Will, Capheus and Lito were, but without all the explanation. With the members of his cluster, he knew intimately why and how they ticked: Rajan, he was a mystery.

First, it was because he still registered as a threat: because that was how Wolfgang always viewed men who were better or more privileged than him. What greater privilege was there than to be Kala’s legal husband? At any given time, Rajan could have changed his mind and demanded a divorce, or given an ultimatum to make her chose between them, and in those first few weeks, Wolfgang was in constant alert.

But the more he watched Rajan the more… confused he became. Rajan was so devoted to Kala he overlooked the fact that she loved Wolfgang more intensely, shrugged at the knowledge that she shared her mind with seven others, welcomed everything she was willing to give and showered her with love at every possibility.  
Wolfgang was grateful to him, he realized, grateful that he gave Kala all that, wished that Kala would have ten more Rajans to make her feel safe and cherished and every bit of the rarest miracle that she was.

 

“Do you love him?” He asks her one day when they’re getting ice cream.

She hums, smiling at him with a bit of carefulness.

“A little bit more each day,” she answers truthfully, looking into his eyes with fierce determination. “Does that bother you?”

Wolfgang laughs out loud at the challenge in her voice.

“Not at all,” he assures her. “He’s a great guy.”

Kala nods, with the same thoughtful expression she has when she’s doing experiments in the company. She worries her lower lips between her teeth, and Wolfgang can’t look away, and he doesn’t want to. He wants to taste the ice cream on her lips.

“But what happens later?” She says, “After the wedding. When we have to leave. I can’t leave you, but I don’t wanna leave him either.”

Wolfgang doesn’t know.

*  
“Oh, sorry,” Rajan says the next day when they bump into each other in the hallway. Wolfgang reaches out a hand to steady him, and it sort of stays on his arm while Rajan squints at him, and asks with sudden worry in his voice: “Where’s Kala? I thought she was with you.”

For a second, Wolfgang panics too. Then Riley pops in to tell him: “We’re out wedding-dress shopping with the girls.” Wolfgang relays the message, and Rajan relaxes.

“Actually, I wanted to take you both out to the movies,” Rajan says once they established that there’s no need to worry. “I’ve finished working for today.”

Wolfgang finds he’d very much like that.

“We can still go?” He offers, shrugging. He doesn’t feel like shrugging at all, and he still did it and feels stupid because of it. He wants Rajan to say yes, and he feels vaguely nauseous while he waits for his reaction. Which is a surprised okay.

They chose a random title, and spend half the movie whispering to each other in Hindi. The film is in Italian, which neither of them speaks, and it doesn’t have subtitles. It’s one of those car-chasing stories which Wolfgang doesn’t care for at all, but Capheus enjoys immensely. Wolfgang spends a quarter of the time describing Capheus’s reactions to Rajan, a bit of making up some stupid dialogue with Rajan for the two main characters, which crack them both up and flicking popcorn at both Capheus and Rajan. The rest of the time, he leans close to Rajan and tries to teach him random German words, like _car_ and _darling_ and _police_ and _husband_. Their arms press together on the armrest, and as Rajan’s face is illuminated by the light of the screen, Wolfgang wonders what it would be like to kiss him.

He remembers how it feels to kiss him, of course, in a way. Kala has kissed him hundreds of times. And Wolfgang kissed Kala. And still, he can’t help but long for it, at that moment, touching his to those familiar-unfamiliar lips, cataloging how different is it from when Kala does it, when he’s not Kala too but just himself.

*  
The flirting just turns itself on, one day, a few days before the wedding. The winking, the suggestive words, and possessive touches come naturally to Wolfgang, they always had. Wolfgang feels Kala’s giddy delight at it, and Rajan is so disbelieving and bashful at first when he realizes its now directed at him, too.

Wolfgang visits her one night when she’s making out with Rajan, something he didn’t do since everything started. When Rajan’s hands slide down towards his wife’s underwear, Kala breaks the kiss with a soft sound and says:

“Wolfgang is here. He’s asking if he could watch.”

Rajan swallows, looks at the door, then around the room.

“Where is he?”

Kala tells him, then kisses his face.

“You may say no if you do not feel comfortable with it,” she whispers to him.

Rajan stares ahead, not completely at the spot where Wolfgang is standing, but close enough.

“Tell him to come over here,” Rajan says, in the end. Wolfgang is by the bed the next second, smoothing a hand over his face. Kala’s.

“Thank you,” She whispers, and Rajan nods, but when Kala tries to kiss him again, he pulls his head away, still looking at the door.

Wolfgang’s stomach drops when he realizes, and he gets back into his own body, his own head, his own room, just as Kala starts asking his husband for clarification. His heart is bounding. It's more than he ever expected. 

Wolfgang dresses hurriedly, and just a few minutes later, he knocks on the Rasals' door. They let him in.

*  
The first time Wolfgang kisses Rajan, it’s after the wedding. By then, the need solidified into an ache, and he is sure that Rajan feels the same lust, the same pull towards him, the same soft affection that exists between them.  
Between them, Kala glows, brighter than the sun. Every kiss they share, Wolfgang feels its echo on his lips. Kala’s skin, Rajan’s beard, their mingling breath. They fulfill, complete and love him, and he never wants to let them go.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I appreciate the feedback even more: what were the thoughts going through your head while reading this? What feelings, emotions did it invoke (if it did any)? Tell me in the comments! :D


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